Lascivious
by yamikinoko
Summary: .Kakashi x Sakura. What it all boils down to, that was what he was.


**Disclaimer**: _I do not own __**Naruto**__. It is the property of __**Masashi Kishimoto**__; I merely borrow the characters for my own amusement._

-----

**Lascivious**

There are only two kinds of men in the world: the kind that reads porn, and the kind that doesn't. Of the former there are again two kinds: the kind that society accepts and the kind that society rejects. It is an unspoken rule that if you are handsome, talented, social, and properly motivated (being financially well-off doesn't hurt either), you are merely "healthy".

On the other hand, if you have no social graces, foul body odor, and a poor countenance (living in your mother's basement can lend a certain, unhealthy pallor to your complexion), then you are no doubt a sexual predator, unfit for the light of day. Prejudice is society's way of protecting itself, after all.

However, Hatake Kakashi does not fit neatly into either of these two sub-categories.

One cannot doubt that he is handsome (from the bridge of the nose up, at any rate) or a first-rate jonin, but his saving graces seem to end there. He is not socially mobile (apart from superiors, subordinates, and the acquaintances in between), and the fact that he resigned from ANBU, the pinnacle of ninja elitism, was cause for serious question.

Plus, the man _giggled_ when he read porn. What kind of self-respecting ninja did _that_?

-----

There are only two kinds of women in the world: the kind that eventually becomes a _woman_, in every possible sense of the words, and the kind that doesn't, and remains a _girl_. Of the latter there are again two kinds: the kind that knows what she has – takes advantage of it – and the kind that doesn't—wishes there was something to take advantage of.

Haruno Sakura falls neatly into the latter sub-category

In her line of work, kunoichi are expected to stay physically fit, and as a result of constant workout, Sakura remained slight, but intensive training with Tsunade eventually made her lean. With a teacher like the Hokage and a best friend like Ino, a body that was primed only for battle meant "very unwomanly" to her influenced eyes. It couldn't be helped, truthfully.

It might have been better if Ino hadn't deemed fit to remind her at every given opportunity.

-----

If there was one thing Kakashi was good at, it was being oblivious where it didn't count. The man could sniff out an assassination plot in the dead of the night and have the perpetrators tucked into bed at the police compound before sunrise, all without waking up. No one could dispute the fact that he was talented, unless you'd never heard of him before (you must have been living under a rock) or you were just plain stupid.

All that supposed ability didn't explain why a whole panoply of objects, from chalkboard erasers to watering cans, was able to penetrate his assumedly impregnable defense. It lent a whole new meaning to "selectiveness".

On the other hand, he was extremely observant when anyone would only assume that he was engrossed in Icha Icha. For example, his genin team. Granted, it was readily obvious that his team was spectacularly mismatched, but it took intuition and years of experience to realize that he had a team that could rival even that of the Three Legendary Sannin, with a bit of discipline.

"Ramen… uh… ramen… oh yea… ramen!"

"Well… something I like is…" a copious amount of giggling, "…or rather, _someone_…"

"… … … … …I just want to kill someone."

…Okay. A lot of discipline. But that was neither here nor there.

-----

Sakura's entire life was about being tough. It wasn't that being the stereotypical "muscle-bound maiden" was number one on her to-do list, but she was a girl in a male-dominated profession. She loved her job, but sexism was alive and flourishing, even in ninja circles. Especially in ninja circles. Thankfully, being able to punch your way through solid walls sometimes earned you the respect being only the Hokage's apprentice could not.

It also meant that men branded her as untouchable.

Firstly, being the Hokage's apprentice meant she associated mainly with the shinobi elite. Being friends with the rising stars of the ninja world meant that she kept company with people considered "strange" even by Konoha's standards, so by connection, Sakura must either be a saint – who are never any fun – to deal with such heathens, or crazy and one of them.

Sakura would think quite glumly to herself that it was very likely that she would be fifty before she got some of that _action_ Ino was – literally – rolling in. And by then it would be too late.

-----

Kakashi always knew his students were exceptional, and in his infinite wisdom (not laziness, honest) chose to pass them onto teachers better suited to their talents. It wasn't until he saw them again that he really noticed them.

One student in particular, anyway.

In the span of two years, Sakura must have inhaled the Hokage's training with her air for Sakura had exponentially improved. Sasuke had the lineage and the potential, Naruto had the tenacity and the pigheadedness, but Sakura had always been – no offense – the weak one. Sure, she was definitely the smartest, but that never helped when you were in the middle of a battle. Now she had it all: beauty, brains, and brawn.

And didn't that sound weird.

-----

When Sakura realized that there were other males in the world besides Sasuke, she was in the middle of training with Tsunade. Not the best place to have an epiphany, as she discovered when the Hokage's fist collided with her stomach. She would later gasp to Ino that the reason she had improved so quickly was because when training with Tsunade, you _wanted_ – nothing more than – to get better quickly. The Godaime's fists were nothing to laugh at.

But of course, that was exactly what Ino did when she saw the large, purpling bruise on Sakura's abdomen and changed the topic to point out passing hotties to Sakura who, for the first time ever, even joined in.

Sakura sometimes ran errands for Tsunade when Shizune was busy, and as she trundled along with armfuls of scrolls, many people would call a quick greeting as she went by. There was only one who didn't and it wasn't because he didn't know the Hokage's apprentice; rather, he was one of those who'd known her longest.

And even if she'd jump up and down in front of him, he wouldn't notice until she waved the scroll in his face. Porn probably turned one's brain to mush after prolonged exposure. She didn't hold his lack of attention against him; rather, she attributed it to a "guy thing" and left it at that.

It just so turns out that "guy thing" didn't explain why he looked up one lazy Saturday afternoon and asked her why she was crying.

(She wasn't crying really; she had just survived an unfortunate encounter with a homicidal lamppost was all.)

That was when she realized that he wasn't oblivious, not really. Which was true. Kakashi just chose to pay attention only to certain things, say, things that might demand immediate remediation.

An upset Sakura might well decide to spontaneously demolish the entire village after all. At least, that's what he told himself when he was found treating the pink-haired kunoichi to lunch. She was as good with words as he was, it turned out. There went a lifetime of foisting bills on comrades, damn it. Her and her "poor, throbbing head".

Throughout the meal, he noticed that several males cast admiring glances at her, but few dared approach. He didn't think it had to do with his presence at the table though.

If he hadn't had a front-row opportunity to witness Sakura's new chakra control, Kakashi would have wondered why she didn't have a horde of admirers dogging her footsteps. Her form as lithe, her features delicate, and eyes ceaselessly aflame with a passion for life few men would ever have the privilege to behold.

Her temper however, was enough to make a lesser man quake in his ninja-issue sandals. Coupled with her fearsome talents, it was no mystery why some chose to keep their distance.

Watching Naruto constantly get beat to a pulp probably didn't help the situation any.

-----

Kakashi was a careful, reserved man, and though he wasn't a ready part of it, he knew how the minds of society worked. He held himself aloof (to the point that he was starting to get a little dull, gray around the edges) and they could only make assumptions, which they did for anything and everything (because that's what humans do).

The people of Konoha knew he was a pervert because, after all, who could mistake those infamous, bright orange books?

(They only recognize the filthy things because, of course, none of them had ever _read_ them.)

But because he read the books in public, there could be no complaints, because while people _knew_ he was a pervert – way in the back of their minds – they would never treat him as one, mainly because he doesn't _look_ like one.

Kakashi didn't think he was a pervert. He was merely enjoying the witticisms of a literary genius after all. It didn't matter what people thought. He knew.

But as time passed and he grew used to seeing her vibrant splash of pink in his otherwise grey and dreary world, as he sealed his lips to hers – again – and felt the familiar groan rattle through his chest, as her lithe – young – form twisted about him, as he heard his name – and title – hum in his ear…

He wasn't quite so sure any more.

But she would loser her temper and hit him if he chose to stop (which would _hurt_); to be quite frank, his dignity (what little he professed to have) wasn't quite worth it after all.

So a pervert he would be.


End file.
